So, last Friday afternoon the boys and I get home, and they want to play outside. AWESOME! I can look through some magazines, finally figure out how to use ALL of my iphone that I have had for almost a year, relax....wait, I must have playing outside confused with locking myself in my closet! (Not that I have ever done that!) As luck would have it, my phone rang and I was talking to one of my favorite friends....as we were talking over our week, my oldest, Leighton, comes barreling out of the basement on his battery-powered 4-wheeler.
(Pause here to give a clear picture of this 4-wheeler - green camo, pretty large for a battery-powered vehicle, and boy, does it move fast. Not at all like the ones we had in my day. )
(Resume story) Where was I? Oh, so he is barreling (for those of you who don't understand my terminology that is going really fast) out of the basement right toward my youngest, Logan, who is standing on a small skooter. (You feel it don't you...this isn't going to be pretty) As Leighton approaches, he says to his brother, "Hey Logan, you want Leighton to push you?" (WHAT?????!!!!!) Before I can even open my mouth, he proceeds to "push" Logan, which looked more like him plowing over Logan....over goes the skooter, over goes the brother, tears commence!
Now enters one of my not so shining mom moments....I look at my oldest son and say something to the effect of, "Son, that was not smart. What were you thinking?!" (Keep in mind, he is just 5! He was thinking what any 5 year old boy would be thinking....it would be so cool to push him all around this driveway!) As soon as the words left my mouth, I was so sorry! He immediately burst into tears - he had no idea it was a bad idea.
As soon as I manage to get everyone collected and calmed, I launch into an explanation about why that was not such a good idea and how it is always good to think through things all the way before we act....and the teachable moment for my son suddenly becomes a teachable moment for me....how many times do I act based on the fact that something looks like it would be really cool, while all the time Jesus is looking down at me and wondering what in the world I was thinking (and unlike my son, I am usually well aware that it was a bad idea)....but unlike my sinful self, His words never miss the filter that says "you really shouldn't say that"....EVERY TIME he lovingly explains to me, reminds me, of why things aren't a good idea....he shows me in His Word which choices would be so much better......and he continues to love me....just like I continue to love Leighton....his actions have no impact on my love for him....I think the word is GRACE! Isn't it awesome?! God extends grace every single time! I have been reading the book Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel....it has been so good! So far he is talking about how to parent with grace just like God parents us with grace.....to allow for mistake, not that there will be no consequences, not that our sin won't hurt us and doesn't hurt God, but he ALWAYS extends GRACE!
So Grace won out....not immediately like I wish it would have. I would have much rather my reaction been to react in a calm manner, but I didn't.....I apologized to Leighton (and to my sweet friend who had to hear the whole thing - bless her heart). Will he do something like that again? I am sure of it.....Will I? You bejt....but just as with everything else in my life, God can take my not so shining mom moments and work on both my heart and my son's.....
Isn't he amazing?!? Isn't Grace Amazing?!?
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